The pictures are all spread out on the wooden platform that rests in the middle of her thatched home. As her worn hands rustle through a kaleidoscope of memories, she generously adds life to the images that grace each photograph. Sharing the former moments in time that were unable to be captured. Those mere essences of breath that once lived behind the lens. My heart and mind paralleled the prior action of the shutter, as it opened wide to let in the light and then contract around the dark realities that face Cambodian children. She continues on, expressing a vulnerable side that is naked and bare. A beautiful transparent unveiling of the heart. Feeling within my own, the depth of what she has known, a greatly welcomed cool breeze blows through the slits in the wood panels that construct the walls around us, ever so graciously taming the humid afternoon heat. Without ceasing in conversation, she leans over as she moves in continual pursuit of one particular photo. A photo that tightens and blesses her heart in equal measures, and holds the sole reason for my being there. With a mirroring of her emotions, I'm searching out why I feel this level of compassion towards a boy whom I have just met. Why I felt this was about Panha...
...As she held the photograph, she sent him off to do chores. It was taken not too far from where we were seated, underneath the canopy of shade that one of their biggest trees held. His chubby cheeks and unsure demeanure were captured, and colorfully illustrated his new transition. The new transition into his new home. Or first home for that matter. The longer I tried to visually picture him at such a young age, the easier it was to fall more in love. As she relived his past and the crossings of their paths, the heartbreaking translation came in sync with my heart absorbing what I saw. "My heart turned to wax; it has melted away within me," Psalm 22:15 for I saw a beautiful little boy, so precious and loved by God, but what I heard was a story that described such dark realities defined by abandonment and homelessness. Over and over the term "street kid" was said and it played like a broken record in my thoughts as I looked up and watched him bounce around with such life. With such a tenderness and innocence about him. Now at the age of nine, five years ensuing the date that I held, so many questions came flooding in crashing against every corner of my being...and then with a 'stilled and quieted...soul' (Psalm 131:2) I was enlightened by the Love of my God.
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| Panha (in tiger paint) with his friends Bunthong, Raksa, and Virak |
Jesus, in reference to children, lovingly stated that "their angels always are in the presence of and look upon the face of My Father Who is in heaven." Matt. 18:10. In Panha's life, his angels have demonstrated this close presence in an expression that of which points to the vastness of His unfathomable love. To hear the sadness cry out of his days as a homeless child and see how they have transpired into such beauty; by a tender pouring forth of the gracious heart of God, is reviving to the soul. This part of his life will always make his story, his story, however, it is only the beginning. For also with him in the beginning was God and He saw his 'unformed substance' and in His 'book all the days were written before they ever took shape, when as yet there was none of them.' Psalm 139:16
His defender watched over him and did not slumber in the dirty hustle and bustle of Phnom Penh. Being his Father, He set his feet to walk upon the road that would lead him and set this lonely child into the hearts of a family that would love and care for him immensely. (Psalm 68:5-6). How this intricately designed life was not hidden from [Him] when [he] was being formed in secret [and] intricately and curiously wrought [as if embroidered with various colors] in the depths of the earth [a region of darkness and mystery] v. 15 is all too beautiful.
As we rode together, the three of us, all piled onto the moto back to school, the beauty of the natural simplicity that paints the countryside of Cambodia, giving way to the rural daily life, had more depth to it. A deeper understanding that I was being pushed into here along the dirt roads, making this place in time stand still; drawing upon the reality of the spiritual kingdom that "lies all about us, enclosing us, embracing us, altogether within reach of our inner selves, waiting for us to recognize it."
A.W. Tozer. It was in that thatched home where we spent the afternoon talking about the courses of events that have shaped Panha's life, that the depth of the knowledge of truly understanding that He knew us before time, planning our lives with a love so beautiful, so patient, and so new, refreshed me like a cool breeze.Capturing my heart once again, in this beautiful country by another one of His precious children.
